Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
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