I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
