he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
