when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
