did you get engaged???
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize
