I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
