he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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