I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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