So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Just pee around me
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Randomize
