So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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