The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
We had sex on a dog bed..
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
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