Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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