its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
You need Xanax blowdarts
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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