just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
