I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
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The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
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The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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