But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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