we're chasing vodka with high fives
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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