i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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