Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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