i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
My vagina just recognized that song.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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