this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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