In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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