I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Randomize
