no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
don't judge my taste in strippers
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
