Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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