We're like a lot better than the average bears
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Randomize
