Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Randomize
