You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
