He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
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