how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
