You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
