I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
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