And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
