A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
