My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
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