So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
