yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
