why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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