that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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