i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
