I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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