Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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