Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
