And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Randomize
