He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
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Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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