i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
A+ Viking dick
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize