I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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