I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
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