I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Acid is not a monday night drug
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize