White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
bring money and cleavage
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
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