You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
it's like heaven, but drunker
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Randomize
