Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
This is classic penis vs brain.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize
