Ambien. No doubt about it.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
