Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Randomize
