dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
