Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
