i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
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