yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Randomize
