Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
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