I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
