what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Acid is not a monday night drug
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize