the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
