we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
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