i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
