My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
It's never too late to be topless.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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