apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
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